Tonalità: Ab major•
Verse 1
Ab
Ladies and gentlemen,
get ready for the star of Blue Collar Comedy Tour,
the man who should be our next President
of the United States,
Larry the Cable Guy!
All right, get her done.
Man, Minneapolis,
thank you so much, man.
And I'll tell you, I ain't been this excited
since I found a quarter in my poop.
I'll tell you what,
I'm happier than Michael Jackson
disguised as a floor lamp
at a Harry Potter book signing.
I'll tell you, that's happy right there.
I'm wearing my thong tonight.
Yeah, yeah, don't get too excited.
It started out as boxer shorts, all right.
I really need to do laundry.
Fm
Db
Believe me, I don't look good in a
Ab
thong.
Eb
If you don't believe me,
Ab
ask the police.
It was hot this summer, wasn't it? Good Lord,
I was in Nashville.
I seen Kenny Rogers eating ice cream
just to keep his face from melting.
All right? What the hell?
He looks like a plate of his own chicken,
for God's sake.
I love Kenny Rogers,
but in gambling, just like skin,
you need to know when to stop folding.
You know what I mean?
Old Kenny got a permanent poker face
going on right now.
That doctor must
have been retarded
or something.
My mom went to that same doctor
and got a butt lift.
It's a little too lifted, I think.
All right, now every time she farts,
only dogs can hear it.
Hey,
speaking of, I was at the beach in Florida
and some girl about 300 pounds
come up next to me,
300 pounds eating a corn dog,
wearing a one -piece bathing suit,
and farted and blowed it into a 10 -piece
right there in front of me right there.
It ain't funny, good God. My
eyebrows just grew back
a couple weeks ago,
all right? That was powerful.
Al -Qaeda claimed responsibility
for that damn thing right there.
I had a buddy of mine call up the other day,
all upset because he slept
with his third cousin.
And I'm like, man, if it upsets you that much,
quit counting them. That's right.
Did you ever order somebody a gift
that just wasn't the most appropriate gift
Eb
Ab
to give that person.
I got my grandpa, he's 97,
I bought him a bicycle.
He went around the block
and got his ball sack stuck in the chain.
Alright.
The worst part of that
was having to back him out.
Alright, that was the worst part.
But I got into this business 21 years ago
working basically at the time for
Db
gas money
Ab
and now look,
working for gas money again.
Good lord, them prices are
higher
than the busload of Mexicans
at the Los Lobos concert.
I tell you what,
come down on the gas prices,
they was on average three
dollars a gallon.
Good lord, I wouldn't buy
wine
for three dollars a gallon.
They people stealing gas now,
they call that a pump and run.
A pump and run.
I think I did that with a prostitute
about 10 years ago, I ain't sure.
I think I might have done that.
My brother's an idiot.
Db
Ab
He sold his truck for gas money.
He's a moron.
He got eliminated in
the Spelling Bee
first round one time.
Apparently there ain't no number eight
in the word pollinate.
Can always tell when gas is expensive.
if you ever see a street gang
that's doing a walk by us.
Don't that piss y 'all?
Everybody's in a gang now.
It's unbelievable.
You ain't gonna believe this.
I ain't lying.
Lying, crying, ain't shit to tell you.
Gb
Ab
I come across all retarded street gang
a couple weeks ago.
I ain't making that up.
Scared the piss out of me.
They was flashing the gang signs.
They going like this
and all that kind of stuff.
Just one fella come up to me,
he go like this,
what are you looking at, bitch?
He'd have kicked my hind end
if that ice cream truck
didn't show up wearing that dead ice hat.
He blow up, he's like,
I'm gonna beat you, ice cream.
But I love them folks.
I used to date a retarded gal
for a while.
I loved her to death.
We ended up breaking up.
We didn't agree on nothing.
It was unbelievable.
I'd say tomato, she'd say,
bowling shoes.
you
Ti è piaciuto il brano?
Devi per lasciare una valutazione.
AccordatoreE A D G B E
AccordiAb Fm Db Eb Gb
Accordi popolari a livello globale
Accordi e tablature più suonati dagli utenti
Aggiunti di recente
Accordi e tablature aggiunti di recente