These are two songs
which are not quite worked
out yet.
Number one, The Jersey Plunk.
Plunk, plunk, plunk, plunk,
when first I saw New Jersey.
Plunk, plunk, plunk, plunk,
these are the thoughts I thunk.
Plunk, plunk, plunk,
when Jersey looks like this to me.
Either Jersey or me is drunk.
By the time I reached Hocus,
with the banjo on my knee.
Plonk, plonk, plonk, plonk,
my eyes began to fo cus.
Plonk, plonk, plonk,
and I knowed it wasn't me.
Plonk, plonk, plonk, plonk,
the Jersey men for in stance.
Plonk, plonk, plonk, plonk,
they all got rainbow tails.
Plonk, plonk, plonk, plonk,
that's how you tell the princes.
Plonk, plonk, plonk,
from the Harvard and the Yale.
Then I met with one in Raleigh.
He said Corton was sublime.
Plonk, plonk, plonk, plonk,
but his way wasn't my way.
Plonk, plonk, plonk,
and I shot him just in time.
Number two, the barbershop quartet,
The Trouble with Women.
I once loved a girl out in Flatbush
She was a picture of beauty and grace
But she thought kittens came
from the cat bush,
And she never had
heard of her space.
So I travel no longer to Flatbush,
Though the girl is poor, wealthy, and pure,
For whenever I tried my
desires to confide,
Her mind was upon her curfew.
Oh, the trouble, the trouble with women,
they soften your heart till it melts.
And then at the critical moment,
they are thinking about something else.