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Storm accordi facili per chitarra di
Tim Minchin
Tim Minchin

N/A
Verse 1
Am

This is a nine- minute beat poem.
F
Am

It's called, "Storm"
Verse 2
Am


Inner North London, top floor flat,
F#
Em
C

All white walls, white carpet, white cat,
Am

Rice paper partitions,
C

modern art and am bition
G

The host's a physician,

Bright bloke,
Am

has his own practice
Em

His girlfriend's an actress,
Dm
C

an old mate of ours from home
Dm
E
Am

And they're always great fun,

so to dinner we've come.
Verse 3
Am

The 5th guest is an unknown,
Em

The hosts have just thrown us

together for a favour
Dm
C

'Cause this girl's just

arrived from Australia
Dm

And she's moved to
Em

North London

And she's the sister of someone or
Am

has some connection.
Verse 4
Am

As we make introductions I'm

struck by her beauty

She's irrefutably fair with dark

eyes and dark hair

But as she sits,

I admit I'm a little bit wary

'Cause I notice the tip of

the wing of a fairy

Tattooed on that popular area just

above the derrière

And when she says "I'm

Sagittarian,"

I confess a pigeonhole starts to form

And is immediately filled with pigeon
G#
F#

when she says her name is Storm.
Verse 5
Am

Conversation is initially bright
F#
E

and light hearted
C

But it's not long before Storm
Am

gets started:
C

"You can't know anything,
Am

knowledge is merely opinion!"

She opines,

over her Cabernet Sauvignon,
C
Am

Vis- à- vis some un
E
Am
C

hippily empirical comment by me.
Verse 6
C

"Not a good start" I think,
Bm
Am
C

We're only on pre- dinner drinks,
Am

And across the room,
Eb

my wife widens her eyes,
Am
Dm
C
B

Silently begs me: "Be nice!"
C
Em

A matrimonial warning,
Am
E

not worth ignoring
Am

So I resist the urge to ask Storm

F#

Whether knowledge is so loose-
Am

weave of a morning when

Deciding whether to leave her

apartment by the front door
Dm
D

Or the window on her second floor.
B
The food is delicious and Storm,
Verse 7

F

Whilst avoiding all meat
G

happily sits and eats
Dm

As the good doctor,
F
C

Slightly pissedly holds court on some
Dm
D
Dm

Anachronistic aspect
C

of medical history
B
Em
F

When Storm suddenly
G

insists:
F

"But the human body is a

mystery!"

"Science just falls in a hole when it

Tries to explain the the nature
Am

of the soul."
Verse 8

My hostess throws me a glance.
F#

She, like my wife,
B

knows there's a chance
Bm
B

I'll be off on one of my rare
Am
C

but fun rants but I shan't
G

My lips are sealed,
Am

I just wanna enjoy the meal
Em
E
Am

And al though Storm
E

is starting to get my goat
Am

I have no intention of rocking
Em

the boat
C
B

Although it's becoming a bit of a wrestle
Bm
D
Am

Because like her meteorolo

gical namesake,

Storm has no such concerns
F

for our vessel:
Verse 9

"Pharmaceutical companies are the enemy,
F#

F

They promote drug dependency

at the cost of the natural remedies

That are all our bodies need
F#
F
F#

They are im moral and driven by greed.

Why take drugs when herbs

can solve it?
Bm

Why use chemicals when homeopathic
F#

solvents can resolve it?

I think it's time we all
Bm
G

Return- to- live with natural
D#

medical alternatives."
B
And try as I like,
Verse 10
Am
B

a small crack appears in
D#m
B
Am

my diplomacy- dike.

"By definition," I begin,
C
B
F

"Alternative medicine," I continue,

C
Dm

"Has either not been proved to work,
Bm
F#

or been proved not to work.
E

Do you know what they call
Am

Alternative medicine that's been
Bm

proved to work?
Am

Medicine."
Verse 11
Am

"So you don't believe in any natural

remedies?"
C
Am
"On the contrary Storm, actually Before we came
Verse 12


to tea,
D

I took a natural remedy derived
G

from the bark of a willow tree
Am

A painkiller that's virtually
Em

side- ef fect free
Dm
C

It's got a weird name, darling,
Dm
Em

what was it again?
Am
C

M- masprin? Basprin? Oh

yeah! Asprin!
Bm

Which I paid about a buck for down
Am

at the local drugstore.
Verse 13
Dm

The debate briefly abates
Am

as my hosts collect plates
E
Em

But as they return with desserts
Am

Storm pertly asserts:
G

"Shakespeare said it first:

There are more things in heaven and
Em
Am

Earth than ex ist in your philosophy.
G

Science is just how we're
C

trained to look at reality,
Em
Am

It doesn't explain love
G

or spirituality.
Em

How does science explain psychic
Am

s? Auras?

The afterlife? The power of prayer?"
F#m
I'm becoming aware that I'm
Verse 14

staring,
Am
C

I'm like a rabbit
Am

Suddenly trapped in the blinding
C
G

headlights of vacuous crap.
Am
G

Maybe it's the Hamlet she just
Em
Dm

misquothed
C
Em

Or the sixth glass of wine I just quaffed
Am

But my dip lomacy dike groans
C

And the arsehole held back by its stone
Bm
Am
Dm

s can be held back no more:
F
G
"Look, Storm, Sorry I don't mean
Verse 15
Am


to bore you
G
F

but there's no such thing as an aura!
Am

Reading Auras is like reading minds or
B
Bm
A#

Tea- leaves or star- signs

or meridian lines
Am
G

These people aren't applying a skill,

F
G
Am

They're either lying or mentally ill.
B

Same goes for people who claim they
D
Dm

hear God's demands
Am
F#

And spiritual healers who

think they've magic hands.
F
E
By the way, why
Verse 16
Am

D#m

do we think it's okay for
F#

People to pretend they
Bm
B

can talk to the dead?
F
Em
Am

Isn't that totally fucked in the head?
D#
D#m

Lying to some crying
Am
G

woman whose child has died
B
F

And telling her you're in touch

with the other side?
G#
Am

I think that's fundamentally sick
G
C
F

Do we need to clarify here that there's
Bb

no such thing as a psychic?
Am
What are we, fucking two?
Verse 17
Am

G

Do we actually think that
Gm
Bb

Horton Heard a Who?
Ebm
Am

Do we still believe that Santa
F#
G

brings us gifts?
B

That Michael Jackson didn't
Bb

have facelifts?
Am
G#

Are we still so stunned by
G#m
B

circus tricks that we think

That the dead would wanna talk
Am

to pricks like John Edwards?
G
Storm to her credit
Verse 18
F#

despite my derision
F
Am

keeps firing off clichés
G
F#
F

With startling precision like a sniper using
Dm
C

bollocks for ammunition
Verse 19
B
Bm

"You're so sure of your position
A#
F

but you're just closed- minded
G
D

I think you'll find that your
F#
F

faith in science and
Am
G

Tests is just as blind as the faith
F#

of any fundamentalist"
F
"Wow that's a good
Verse 20

point,

let me think for a bit.

Oh wait, my mistake,

that's absolute bullshit.
F#
F
Am
D#m

Science adjusts it's views
F#

based on what's observed.
B
F
Am

Faith is the denial of observation
D#m

so that Belief can be preserved.
G#m
F#
B
F

If you show me that, say, homeopathy works,
G#
Am

then I will change my mind
F#dim
B

I'll spin on a fucking dime
F
Am

I'll be embarrassed as hell,

But I will run through the streets yelling
G

'It's a miracle! Take
F#
Bb

physics and bin it!
Eb

Water has memory!
Am
G

And while it's memory of a long
B

Lost drop of onion juice
E
Am

seems Infinite
Dm
G#

It somehow for gets all the poo
G#m
B

it's had in it!'
Verse 21
Am

You show me that it works
D#

and how it works
Am
G#

And when I've recovered

from the shock
B

I will take a compass and carve 'Fancy

That' on the side of my cock."
Verse 22

Everyone's just staring now,

But I'm pretty pissed and I've

dug this far down,

So I figure, in for penny,
Am

in for a pound:
Dm
"Life is full of mys
Verse 23
Eb

teries,
E
Dm

yeah
C
B
C

But there are an swers out there
Dm
E
Am

And they won't be found by
E
F#

people sitting around
G#m
B

Looking serious and saying 'Isn't
G#m
B
F#

life mysterious?'

'Let's sit here and hope.

Let's call up the fucking Pope.
Dm
Am

Let's go watch Oprah interview
C

Deepak Chopra.'
F
If you wanna watch tele, you should
Verse 24
F#


watch Scooby Doo.
F
Dm
D#

That show was so cool
F

because every time there
C
Am

Was a church with a ghoul or a
Dm

ghost in a school
F
B

They looked beneath the mask
Am
F

and what was inside?
Am
Dm
F

The fucking janitor or the dude

who ran the waterslide.
F#

Because throughout history every
C
B

Mystery ever solved has turned out to be
C

Not Magic.
Verse 25
B
E

Does the idea that there might
Am
D

be knowledge frighten you?
Am
G#m
B

Does the idea that one afternoon on
E
Am

Wiki- fucking- pedia might

enlighten you frighten you?
G#m
B

Does the notion that there may not be
F
Am
Ebm

a supernatural so blow your
F#

Hippy noodle that you'd rather just
B
Am

Stand in the fog of your in
Ebm

ability to Google?
F#
Isn't
Verse 26

this enough?
Am

Just this world?
Verse 27
F#
F#m
Am

Just this beautiful, complex,
F#
A

wonderfully unfathomable, natural world?
F#
A

How does it so fail to hold

our attention that we have to
B
F#
D

Diminish it with the invention of cheap,

man- made myths and monsters?

If you're so into your Shakespeare,
Dm
B

lend me your ear:
A

"To gild re fined gold,

to paint the lily,
F#m
A

To throw perfume on the violet...

is just fucking silly"
E

Or something like that.

Or what about Satchmo?!
E
Em

"I see trees of Green,

Red roses too,"

And fine, if you wish to glorify
Am

Krishna and Vishnu in a

Post- colonial,

Condescending bottled-

up and labeled

Kind of way then whatever, that's ok.
A

But here's what gives me a hard- on:

I am a tiny, insignificant,
F#

ignorant bit of carbon.

I have one life,
F#
A

and it is short and unimportant...
F#

But thanks to recent scientific

advances I get to live
F#

Twice as long as my great great great
Am

great uncleses and auntses.
D

Twice as long to live this life of mine
B
D

Twice as long to love this wife of mine

Twice as many years of friends and wine

Of sharing curries and getting
F#
F#m

shitty at good- looking hippies

With fairies on their spines
Verse 28

and butterflies on their titties.


And if perchance I have offended

Think but this and all is

mended:

We'd as well be 10 minutes back in time,

Outro 1

For all the chance you'll change your mind.

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