Don't
Put
Your
Daughter on the
Stage
Don't
Mrs.
Worthington
Don't put your daughter on the stage
The profession is overcrowded an
d the struggle's pretty tough
And admitting the fact she's burning to act,
it's really not enough
She has nice hands to
give the wretched girl her due
But don't you think her bust is
too developed for her age?
I repeat,
Mrs.
Worthington, sweet
Mrs.
Worthington,
don't put your daughter on the stage!
Regarding yours, dear
Mrs.
Worthington, of
Wednesday the 23rd,
although your baby may be keen on a stage career,
how can I make it clear that this is not a good idea?
For her to hope, dear
Mr s.
Worthington, is, the face of it, absurd.
Her personality is not, in reality, inviting enough,
exciting enough for this particular sphere.
Don't put your daughter on the stage,
Mrs.
Worthington,
don't put your daughter on the stage.
She's a bit of an ugly duckling, you must honestly confess,
and the wit of her seat would surely defeat her chances of success.
She's a loud voice, and though it's not exactly flat,
she'll need a little more than that to earn a living wage.
On my knees,
Mrs.
Worthington
Please,
Mrs.
Worthington
Don't put your daughter
on the stage
Don't put your daughter on the stage,
Mrs.
Worthington
Don't put your daughter
on the stage
Though they said at the
School of
Acting
She was lovely as pure gint
I'm afraid on the whole
An ingenue role would emphasize
her squint
She's a big girl
And though her teeth are fairly good
She's not the type I ever
would be eager to engage
No more butts,
Mrs.
Worthington
Nuts
Mrs.
Worthington, don't put your daughter
on the stage or your son.
Don't put your daughter on the stage